Excerpts, Serials, and Out-of-Print

"Hey! You can't blame this on me."

"Oh, yeah? Whose idea was it to steal the Eye of the Lier-in-Wait?"

"Well, it certainly wasn't my idea to sneak through the village at night."

"You're the one who set off the alarm!"

"Only because you were about to step on that sleeping guard!"

"You didn't have to yell!"

"How else was I supposed to get your attention? You were too far away to hear me whisper."

"You were supposed to be right behind me."

"You were moving too fast!"

"I was trying to get through the village before we were discovered, you bimbo! Why couldn't you keep up?"

"I was trying to be stealthy!"

"Dammit! I thought we agreed to move fast!"

"I didn't agree to anything, you decided for both of us!"

"I thought it was the best thing to do!"

"I'm the senior partner, I'm the one who's supposed to make the decisions!"

"Hah! You couldn't decide what shoes to wear this morning, you idiot!"

"I'm the idiot? You're the one who thought we could scare the natives with a simple trick!"

"How was I to know they'd seen matches before?!"

By this time they were within ten feet of the lava. Eile could smell the foul gases and feel the heat rising up from the surface.

"I knew your obsession with adventure would get us killed some day, but I never thought we'd go out like this."

"Son of a — stop blaming me!" Sunny kicked her legs in frustrated anger.

Eile smiled. That's it, she thought, get good and mad. "Who else am I gonna blame? It's no one's fault but yours!"

"Ooohhh! I can't believe I chose a poopy-skull like you to be my partner!"

"God, I can't believe I fell for a self-centered butthead such as you. I thought I had better sense!"

Sunny screamed in rage as she twisted and bucked her body, but it soon turned into a guttural roar as light exploded from her eyes. It echoed through the jungle, scaring up flocks of birds and flushing animals out of hiding as they fled in terror.

Yes! Eile thought. Now we're getting somewhere. The only problem was, Sunny's magical ability was erratic. Eile had no idea what would result. She could only hope it was something productive.

Sunny's bellow had barely died away when it was answered by a massive, throaty croak, like that of a gigantic raven. Eile whipped her head to her right and saw a huge creature winging towards them from up the valley. She couldn't figure out what it was. It looked like a mix of bird, dragon, and pterosaur, but not quite any of those.

Ahead of it flew two smaller birds, about the size of hawks. They came screeching in, flying over their heads, and without warning bit through the ropes that held them suspended. She and Sunny dropped; it happened so fast that Eile didn't have a chance to scream. Then, just as she was about to splash into the lava, the monster bird grabbed her and Sunny in its talons and flew off, its wings beating like a giant heart.

Eile's own heart pounded in her chest, but as soon as she realized they were safe, she calmed down.

"Sunny!" she cried, looking over at the other foot. She was unconscious.

"Sunny! Wake up!"

She came to with a start and looked around.

"Sunny. Tell this thing to set us down."

She focused on her, but with a dazed look in her eyes.

"Hurry!"

She looked up at the bird, and came to her senses. She coughed out a string of sounds, and the bird croaked back. It then slowed, circled a clearing, and settled down in the middle of it, dropping the girls before it landed.

"Hold still," Sunny said as she looked at Eile's bonds. "Shred!" she cried, and the cord unraveled and fell to pieces.

Eile took Sunny's dagger from her belt and cut her wrists free. "Damn, that was a close —!"

"Aaaaaauuugh!" Sunny yelled as she threw herself at Eile. She began hitting her with balled fists across her chest, shoulders, and arms, oblivious to her armor. "How dare you talk to me like that!!"

At first, Eile just took it, ducking and raising her hands to guard her face, but when it became clear Sunny wasn't going to stop, she grabbed her wrists. "Settle down, you spaz!"

She continued to struggle as she shouted, "I can't believe you'd say those things to me! You were mean and hateful!"

"Yeah, I was, but I figured if I got you angry enough, you'd pull some kind of rabbit out of yer hat, and damn, did you ever!"

"What?!" she squealed, enraged, but then her face relaxed and she calmed down as she thought about it. "Hey, yeah, I guess it worked." And she gave her a nervous grin.

Eile smiled a relieved grin of her own. "Yeah, it worked," she repeated as she let Sunny go, slipping the dagger into her belt, "you really came through there —"

Sunny whacked her on the head with a staff. "Don't you ever do that again!"

Eile retreated a few steps, holding her skull. Sunny didn't have that with her, she must have conjured it out of thin air. "Okay, okay! Just stop hitting me!"

Sunny gave her an apologetic smile. "Aww, I'm sorry."

"No, I deserved that; I'm the one who should be sorry. But if you want to whack anyone, I think it should be those savages."

"What do you mean?"

"We came here to get the Eye. I don't know about you, but I'm not going back empty handed. Whaddya say?"

Sunny gave her a determined but mischievous leer. "Yeah, I hear ya. Let's go kick butt, partner!"

She coughed at the monster bird, who hunkered down on its belly and extended one wing. They climbed onto its back, after which it stood up and with a ponderous flap rose into the air, heading back for the village.

"Team Girl!, up and away!" Sunny shouted.

Eile crouched behind Sunny. "Take us over the idol," she yelled above the wind. "I'll get the Eye while you hold them off."

"Right!" Sunny hollered back.

As they flew over the valley, Eile saw the idol of the Lier-in-Wait coming up on their right. It had been carved out of the granite cliff that formed an alcove around it. The lava pit sat about a hundred feet in front of it. As the bird swooped down, she saw a glimmer off its skull: that would be the Eye, she thought. She carefully edged down the bird's back to the base of its tail.

"Drop me off here!" she shouted at Sunny. Eile saw her mane of gamboge hair nod, just before she coughed at the bird. It swung to the side and slowed as it soared over the statue. Eile laid on her stomach, slid backward, and dropped off.

Even at the relatively slow speed the bird was going, Eile hurtled towards the idol faster then she figured. She spread her arms and legs to slow herself down, but she was already too low. As she plunged under the head, she reached out and grabbed the lower jaw. Somehow, she managed to hang on as she was wrenched to a stop, swinging back and forth. It felt like her arms were almost torn loose from her shoulders, but after a few moments she had recovered enough to scramble up into the mouth.

Squatting, Eile looked around. Sunny and the monster bird were coming around to pass over the village, while the villagers were rushing towards their idol, bent on trying to stop her. Standing as tall as she could manage in the cramped space, she reached out and took hold of the nose. She stepped off the tongue to dangle off the snout, then pulled herself up onto the bridge of the jaw. Half-way, she paused as she looked towards the face. Set in the forehead between the stone eyes was a very pale ice-blue gem the size of a bowling ball. Though faceted, it looked almost perfectly round. It winked at her in the bright sunlight, as if daring her to try to take it.

Standing up, she wobbled as she tried to get her footing. The narrow, rounded upper jaw was treacherous, but at least the rock was rough-hewn, giving her some traction. The bird soared past her, and when she turned to look she heard Sunny shouting, "Static-shock!" Sparks crackled between the villagers as they cried out in astonishment and hopped around, retreating back to the village.

"Serves you right for messing with Team Girl!" Sunny yelled.

Eile couldn't help smiling. That spell was harmless, though the electrical shock smarted. They wouldn't soon forget it.

She turned back towards the idol's face and carefully made her way towards the Eye. She only got half-way, however, when a sharp, angry cry made her look up. A native, brandishing a club fitted with obsidian blades, flew over the statue's head and landed in front of her. Yelling and jabbering, he swung the club back and forth as he rushed at her.

"Waaah!" Eile shouted as she tried to back away without losing her footing. She pulled the ring on her right shoulder, and grabbed and detached her sword as soon as it dropped to her hip. She then slashed with it as she tried to parry his attacks. He came at her in wild abandon, obvious to footing or balance, pushing her back towards the end of the snout. The speed and recklessness with which she had to defend herself almost made her lose her balance a few times. Then she realized, that was exactly what he wanted. He was trying to force her off, to keep her away from the Eye. Rage boiled up inside her: the damn bastard's trying to kill me! she thought.

As if empowered by her anger, her sword ignited an eldritch blue flame. She felt herself stabilized and buoyed up, as if she was floating.

"Raaaauuugh!" she roared and charged him. She parried his blows, sparks flying in all directions, as he retreated, a look of abject terror on his face. She pressed her attack, and he started trying to block her slashes. She gripped her sword with both hands and swung in a wide arc, breaking his club just below the last row of blades. She raised her weapon above her head and bore down on him. He tossed away the handle, turned, and threw himself off the statue, screaming a wordless cry of fear.

She stopped and watched him with a puzzled look. "Huh," she muttered, "that's been happening a lot lately." Then she shrugged and re-attached her sword onto her back harness.

She made her way back to the Eye. A spear cracked against the statue's skull and she ducked out of reflex. Looking down, she saw a mob of villagers gathered around the base of the idol, shouting, shaking their fists at her, and waving their weapons. Several were already trying to climb the monument, knives clutched between their teeth.

Sunny came winging by behind them. She shouted, "Hives!", and pointed at them with her staff. Eile watched as, within seconds, the natives began scratching themselves, gently at first, but soon more furiously, until they could do nothing but try to relieve the powerful itch. Those who had started climbing towards her fell off one by one in quick succession as the need to scratch overpowered their righteous indignation.

Sunny waved as the bird flew on, and Eile waved back before turning her attention to the Eye. The gem was fitted into a socket and held in place by a crude mortar that had deteriorated over time. Grasping the Eye, she found that it was loose enough to move, though it was still held in place. Taking Sunny's dagger from her belt, Eile started digging around the gem, removing as much of the cement as she could reach. She had to work fast; the itching spell was also relatively harmless, and wouldn't last long. Sunny had few defensive spells that did little or no harm, and Eile figured she had used them all up by now.

When all the mortar she could see was gone, Eile slipped the dagger back into her belt and grasped the Eye with both hands, trying to turn it. She resisted the temptation to hit it with the pummel of her sword. Not knowing what kind of gem it was, she couldn't chance it being fragile. But it wouldn't budge. Straining, she tried to rotate it first one direction, then the other, but it remained fixed in place. Apparently, the mortar in back of it was still fairly strong.

A shadow fell over her as the bird flew low above her head. "Hurry!" she heard Sunny shout. "They've almost reached you!"

Eile watched the bird recede over her shoulder, then looked at gem, frustration growing within her. They weren't going to make it.

"Dammit!" she exclaimed, hitting the Eye with her fist. "Dammit, dammit, dammit!" she repeated, hitting the gem with each word. The third time, something crunch, and the Eye tilted forward and dropped out of the socket. Stunned, Eile lunged for it and caught it before it could drop off the idol.

Astonished, she held it in her hands, staring at it for a moments, then she grinned.

"Sweet!" she cried. Holding it over her head, she turned and shouted out over the valley, "I've got it!"

But Sunny was nowhere to be seen.

"Aww, cripes!" she cursed. At the same moment, she heard scrambling. Spinning around, she saw a half-dozen natives climb over the top of the statue's head. As soon as they were on their feet, they took their knives out of the mouths and advanced towards her. She backed away from them in an anxious manner. She had to hold the Eye with two hands, which meant she couldn't use her sword, but she didn't want to throw it away after all she'd been through.

"EILE!" she heard Sunny shout. Turning, she saw Sunny flying towards her, the bird skimming just above the ground.

"Jump!" Sunny urged, waving with both arms back towards herself.

Eile didn't think twice. She bolted forward and took a leap off the idol's nose. She landed on the bird's back just behind its neck, into Sunny's waiting arms. Her momentum carried her onward and she crashed into Sunny, knocking her backwards and landing on top of her. Somehow she kept hold of the gem.

Sunny looked up at her with what she imagined was the same astonished look on her own face, but then Sunny smiled, crinkled her eyes, and giggled.

"I think we should wait until we get home," she said in a mischievous tone.

"Uh, yeah," Eile replied, embarrassed. She rolled off Sunny and sat up. Sunny did the same, and looked at the Eye.

"You got it!"

Eile presented it to her. "Yeah, but it took some doing."

Sunny accepted it, then crawled behind the bird's head. She coughed instructions to it. It answered with a croak, then climbed as it veered to their left.

Sunny kneeled, placing the gem in her lap. Eile came up behind her, wrapped her arms around her middle, and laid her chin on her shoulder.

"We should be home by nightfall," Sunny said.

"Excellent." She looked down at the Eye. "So, what do we do with that thing now that we have it?"

"I'm sure we can find someone who'll buy it. Maybe Mayv would like to have it?"

"Well, whatever we get for it, I hope it's enough to compensate for our trouble."

"Uhm, I'm sorry I put us in danger."

"Aww, it's okay," Eile said, giving her a smooch on the cheek. "Besides, it beats stayin' home and fooling around."

"Oh, yeah? We'll just see about that."

Eile grinned. Whenever Sunny used that tone, she was in for a special treat. She tightened her grip around Sunny's waist and nuzzled her ear.